Is this the start...or is it the ending?....

Today morning..i tried talking to my dad about going to SOTA instead of NAFA..he didn't disagree but just flare up..he never told me the reason for flaring up.. ...later in the day..before going to my grandma's place..he was like telling my mum and my sis what happened..and i still do not understand why he flare up..on our way back home..my dad commented that I'm just listening to the person who told me about entering SOTA now because she is beautiful or something..I just thought he was really childish..than later he said something like..''if you return me all my money that i paid for your audition to NAFA and the entry fees, than you can go ahead with your decision of SOTA''..to me he was just thinking about the money..it also occurred to me that the reason that he even wanted for me to go to NAFA was not because he wants to let me realise my dreams..but he just wants to realise his;getting rid of me..to him he just thought that as a guy i would be able to easily get a diploma in dance cause of the lack of guys in singapore and than move on to getting a job using the diploma and live on my own..just because he sees no future in me in poly..I'm disappointed..but am too tired to pull myself up already..i dun wan to live in their shadow anymore..he doesn't understand a single thing about dance..from what i see..his just pushing me aside..I feel mentally lost..i dun wanna talk about it anymore..i just want to do it..i've been talking too much about this issue already..i think i just want to go and dance and give my best shot..weather i succeed or not..it has nothing to do with my parents..if i succeed i will only thank them for supporting me financially..and not emotionally..I feel like i dunno them all of a sudden..like they are strangers to me..but than..i guess me and my parents were not actually very close..i was always the one trying to understand them..while they dun bother bout how i feel..my dad always goes''im always correct because i'm me!''...hmms...anyone has any ideas what i should do?...I feel really lost..

YAY!!! APPLICATION SUCCESS!!

Whoa!!..I just went to check my application status as a relief teacher..it was approved!!..damm..i'm so happy man..Now..im officially registered under MOE!!..:)..hmms..i wonder how it feels like to be called Mr Leong..HAHA..will be back to tell more about relief teaching tales..:)

From nocturnal to....???

Few days back..I was living like an owl..now..i dunno wat i'm living like..yesterday i slept at 730pm..and i woke up at 330am today.. ...but i guess this is better than sleeping so damm early and waking up so damm late!!..hmms..maybe if i adjust my life a little more..i would be living a much healthier life than before..than maybe i might slim down a little more..than i can start training my six pack..:)...right now..i cant do much as it is flooded with fats and extra skin..bleah!!..

I'm going back into TKD training soon..its good that i have time now..atleast i can try to get my black belt before army..maybe it will entitle me a much easier time in army..:)..but the weird part is..i kind of like to try out the super tough training..like commando..but..i think i cant make it in there anyways..and ben said that they wear red helmets to attract the enemies attention..damm..attract enemies attention at risk of getting your head blasted!!..so not my ideal training method..haha..although life ie boring..but wearing a red helmet going around hoping someone will aim at it to expose their selves..is the the best way i think as ending my life..or adding colours to my life..the only colour which will be added that way...would be RED!!!

Nocturnal me...CHANGE!!!

Woke up a few hours ago..which is actually 9pm..damm..my life is totally nocturnal now la..and i think the reason is because i kept using the com..not that im blaming my com..just that it's really changing my life..i kind of use the com till 5~6 plus am..than have breakfast with my dad at 9..and i'll watch some cartoon till 11..than i'll go to sleep at 12 plus 1..its crazy man..but than..there's one good thing with my current life now..i'll be cleaning up the house early in the morning 6 o'clock..AND ITS LITERALLY 6!!..blah..

i guess i would try to sleep early tonight..or maybe not that early at maybe 3~4..or maybe 5..atleast it still beats sleeping at 12 pm!!..hmms..but i have this gut feeling that i will still sleep at 6~7..i dunno..my life is just topsy turvy now..worse is that everyone's now busy with their starting of school stuff..and i'm the only idiot whose still sitting around lazing my life away..guess i'll have to find my own fun than!!..hmms..

Not sleeping for one whole day is freaking not funny..i scrape a small part of my skin just now cause i was too tired and didnt notice the chair infront..the impact was so great that i got scrape even with a layer of protection..JEANS...damm..it hurts so much man..i couldn't even bathe properly..i had to prevent my left leg(knee and below) from getting wet..before that..i tried running some water down the injured area..it hurts so much that i got rooted to the ground for a split second..letting more water run down the injured area..damm..i swear the pain almost made me cry..the first time any physical pain ever made me close to tearing..

But for some reason..I'm still awake and not sleeping after 27 hours awake..I'm really weird..thats why i'm writing this now..I guess if i didnt write it now i will forget most of the details by the time i wake up next morning..or rather next afternoon..

Still have to go for a job interview tomorrow..i dun even know the time to meet..the person said he will call me tomorrow to confirm..that guy is from an agent..so when i go for the interview tomorrow..i'll ask if part of my pay will go to him as commission..hope not..if not..i aint doing that job..but that will also mean i have to find a job fast...if not the debts that i have is not going to disappear by itself...freaking 300 dollars!!..ARHG!!..

Went with Ben to watch the shinjuku incident just now in the afternoon..lucky i didnt fall asleep...neither did Ben..(i'll fall asleep because im tired..Ben will fall asleep cause the show is too boring..) Ben didnt quite like the show and said he wasted 7 dollars..ass..keep repeating that to make me feel guilty..but than..my personnal opinion of the movie is that it only suit certain group of people..one is those who know's history(the not that biased version)..and another is for those who need to do some life reflection..if you're gonna watch the show because you think jackie chan is starring in that movie and that the fighting scences will be great..prepare for a disapointment..in this movie..jackie chan is a useless guy who knows no martial arts..but than..i find the movie rather touching..people who goes for dramatic scences and are able to relate to what ever you are watching...go ahead and watch the movie..otherwise..it'll be quite a waste of money i would say..

Harry Potter is coming out in may..:)...I'm so watching it..:)..though i've forgotten more than half of the story...looks like i'll have to spent some time to read the book again..now..who can i lend the book from?... ...

i'll sign off here..very tired..goodnight!!...z z z...Z Z Z..

Extracting the fun out of another normal boring day!! (:

Once again..I'm feeling as lazy as ever..Ben called me 28 times and I still didn't wake up..obviously i was late for work..but i dun really care cause this job sucks..the pay is the main factor why it sucks..but atleast today is the last day..:)

Received an invitation from charlie on facebook yesterday..was for some club party thing..thought i wasn't of age yet..but turns out 16 was the limit..so i guess i could make it..but than another problem pops out..who am i suppose to go with..its damm expensive there..worst off..i dun even know where it is..wanted to ask my cousin to bring me there..but her schedule was rather tight..and the invitation was so short notice.. ...but than...i know i will regret hell if i dun go..i saw the people attending on face book..the girls are so CHIO!!(beautiful)..man..if only i was richer and better-looking and older..WAHHH...BOO HOOO HOOO..oh wells..guess thats fate than..

I'm going for ballet practice at SDT later at 5..its gonna be like a normal class..cause the cheorographer for that item didn't need guys..so me and the other guy will leave at 6 while the girls will continue till 7 for their rehearsal... ....I really feel like I'm being make use of as a 'free labour' for them..but who cares for now...i'll just ta han(bear) with it for a month or so...as this rehearsal is meant for a performance in korea..so since i'm a backup(DAMM) and i'm not in the other item(WOOHOO)..doesn't that means a free trip for me!! Man..I'm so not letting go until i get my free trip there...MWAHAHAHA..(: Say i'm evil for all you want...but this is a dog eat dog world..If you dun eat them..they will eat you..darwins law of survival..the strongest shall survive while the weakest shall perish..I'm just doing my parents proud by being one of the strongest..HEHS.. XD

Today was just another normal day..just that i was feeling pretty lethargic. Went to work. Than went for rehearsals at SDT. Now..the funny thing is..usually when I know I'm at a losing end..I'll tend to stand up against it..but I realise..whenever it come to dance..i always keep it to myself..i wont say it out..i wont even show it..but than..the emotions built up within me tends to get directed to other things around me. I guess I always felt that the people who dance are always of a higher calibre compared the usual company i'm always around..I tend to respect those who does dance more than those who doesn't..not that there is nothing worthy about those around me who doesn't do dance..of course everyone has their own good points worthy of my respect..but for those who dance..they tend to have a better lifestyle?..or rather they are more..realistic?..i dunno..thats what I think..but of course there are those out there who doesn't dance but instead has a higher sense of what they want in life. Anyways..back to my rehearsal problem..I'm a understudy of someone who isn't better than me..or atleast i think so..its just that i cant see what is it bout him that entitles him to be the first cast and me the second cast..there's a few times where i actually wanted to stand up for myself and wanted to clarify the problem..but the subconscience in me stop me from doing that..instead..it tells me to wait and watch how the situation goes..maybe he is really better than me?..or maybe its just still not my time to show what i'm capable of doing..of course to say the truth..i do not think that i'm good enough to go ahead and clarify things..but i feel like i'm being make use of..i dunno..i'm trying to change this habit of mine..assuming stuffs..but i just want to know why I'm the second cast..sometimes i think i tend to stand up for myself at the wrong times..there has been many times in my life that things goes the wrong way round..or rather not as i expected...not really wrong..but i'm trying to keep a positive mind these days..always try to think on the bright side..although there are somethings that just doesn't have a brighter side to look at.


And than..After rehearsals..i went back to the office that i'm working currently as a telemarketer..the pay sucks..but i thought atleast its still a pay that i'm getting rather than staying at home and rotting..and also because my friend asked if i wanted to work this job..so i decided to join him..but we are stopping this thurs..as he is starting school at poly soon..mine starts in july though..i'm attending NAFA dance course..so i guess i would look for some other job..anyways..my friend did the most idiotic thing on earth..or rather i think so..he told me to take up a quiz in facebook..and the results was devastating to me...and he was so happy to see my results..damm..i dun really hold any grudge against him for using the quiz to make fun of me..but than the results actually kind of affected my confidence..considering the fact that i didn't have much to start with..and also i feel weird that whatever I'm writing here would be seen by anyone who happens to pass by..but i'm still gonna give it a try..anyways..life is indeed too short to think about the the consequences..if whatever you do you think of the consequences first..than the word 'life' could have been describe as 'routine' or 'planned'..right?..there wont be any fun in life anymore aye? Although there are some scenarios where you have to have it planned and think of the consequences first..but other than things that have an impact on your life and death issue..i'm sure other for other things..its still better to do things as your heart wishes but not in a reckless way?..but no crimes or whatsoever should be involved alright..So please dun go blaming on me..hahs..hmms..after writing so many things..I really do feel calmer and feel less agitated already..i guess this might be really a good way for me to learn to control my temper and not bottle things up in myself..I guess this is a good way of speaking up..hahs..anyways..i dun really expect much if i really do clarify things..so maybe in this way..i can speak up and no second party would get involved despite the fact that i'm speaking up bout certain things..unless there is really such a coincidence that the people involved in what i'm writing about really happens to stumble on this particular blog of mine..lol..i hope not though..hmms..anyways..i'll stop here for now..